| You twisted your ankle, I carried you | G D/F# C/E | |
| You got a divorce so I married you | G D/F# C/E | |
| You fell of a cliff so I buried you | G D/F# C/E | |
| I wish there were more bad times to see you through | G D/F# C/E |
| You never had rabies, you never gained weight | G Am D G | |
| You never came home with a scar | G Am D | |
| You never drank poison, you watched what you ate | G Am D G | |
| You never so much as put a scratch on my car | G Am D |
| You twisted your ankle, I carried you | G D/F# C/E | |
| You got a divorce so I married you | G D/F# C/E | |
| You fell of a cliff so I buried you | G D/F# C/E | |
| I wish there were more bad times to see you through | G D/F# C/E |
| You never got measles you never got gout | G Am D G | |
| you never suggested charades | G Am D | |
| You never got dizzy you never fell out | G Am D G | |
| You never picked up any live hand grenades | G Am D |
| So many things did go wrong, but the list is not | G C G D | |
| long enough, not enough bad things to fill up a song | G C G D G D |
| You twisted your ankle, I carried you | G D/F# C/E | |
| You got a divorce so I married you | G D/F# C/E | |
| You fell of a cliff so I buried you | G D/F# C/E | |
| I wish there were more bad times to see you through | G D/F# C/E |
| You never lost contacts, you never leaked oil | G Am D G | |
| You never fell to sticks and stones | G Am D | |
| You never drank cleanser, you never ate foil | G Am D G | |
| You never choked on any big chicken bones | G Am D |
| You twisted your ankle, I carried you | G D/F# C/E | |
| You got a divorce so I married you | G D/F# C/E | |
| You fell of a cliff so I buried you | G D/F# C/E | |
| I wish there were more bad times to see you through | G D/F# C/E |
| G |